I've had it with this school, Skinner.

Oh, I've wasted my life.

A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice. I didn't get rich by signing checks. We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.

Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me! Dad didn't leave… When he comes back from the store, he's going to wave those pop-tarts right in your face! Jesus must be spinning in his grave!

Can't you people take the law into your own hands?

Here's to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life's problems. Human contact: the final frontier. I didn't get rich by signing checks. This is the greatest case of false advertising I've seen since I sued the movie "The Never Ending Story."

We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. Oh, I'm in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don't have to listen to myself. I'm drunk. Please do not offer my god a peanut. Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

Inflammable means flammable? What a country. Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. Uh, no, they're saying "Boo-urns, Boo-urns." I'm a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.